Saturday, 13 June 2009

Men & relationships



A man can find a million and one other things to do rather than sit down with his partner and talk about their relationship. Is it so because men don’t care about them? No, it’s just that the words “relationship discussion” mean different things to men and women. And not only these words…







What do men really want out of life? Do they really want to get married? Or do they just want to have sex with whomever until they get old? Or do they have to feel alone before they make the step into a relationship?






There isn’t any one “model” that fits all men or all women. Everyone is different and is motivated by different things. Yes, some men want to get married and yes, some men just want to have a lot of sexual partners throughout the rest of their lives. These are both valid goals, but it depends on the individual.




However, it does seem that marriage and commitment isn't as attractive to most men as it is to most women, doesn’t it?








So, what is the difference?



Men struggle every single day to meet the goals that are imposed on them by society. Men's impositions have been around for a long time and are actually the fabric of our society and culture. Women's are more "self-imposed". For example, men are expected to hold down steady jobs, provide for themselves and their families and to do everything (including in relationships) with "honor".






That means being up-front and direct. But women are under no such obligation and are never up-front about their intentions in relationships. They have all sorts of tools they use to get men to expose their agenda's up front without having to do so themselves!






With commitment, consider that men and women view this very differently too.






While women view commitment as security, future, family, love, closeness, support and many other "good" things, men often view commitment (and likewise, marriage) as responsibility, stress, loss of freedom, loss of choice, a life of toiling to meet the demands of that relationship, and many other "bad" things! In fact, these are very common feelings among most men.





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